True Friend

In my earlier post I talked about love and trust, and the importance of trust for a relation. Two days ago, I came to know that the most important part of a successful business is to have a strong team. In the class of entrepreneurship we discussed the reason why organizations fail or have problems. At last we concluded that human resource is the prominent reason for it. It means a person should develop skills for recognizing right person at right time.

"A friend is a person who knows all about you, and still likes you." Elbert Hubbard

In this post, I want to draw your attention on a topic which is very crucial and important part of everyone’s life. I will talk about friendship. Most of us generally face problems to recognize true friends. So here I want to share six points which will help you to recognize your best friend.

1. First and foremost thing, Decide whether you can trust him/her, because for any relationship trust is very important.

2. Decide whether, your friend cares about you or not. It is obvious that your true friend will care you most. A Friend will Help and support you when you are in trouble.

3. A true friend will point out your mistakes in a constructive manner without malice intent. A friend knows what is best in you so he will let you know about opportunities that you have in your life.

4. He/she will appreciate you and be happier than you on your victory or achievement.

5. He/ she will never ignore you in public place or with a group of other friends. He/she will never lie to you, will not hurt you mentally and will apologize if does so.

6. He/she will want to hangout with you out of school/college/workplace.

Remember all six points apply both ways. Are you being all of these to your friends as well? We all need to evaluate our friendships. Don't lie to yourself about being friend with someone that does not feel the same way for you. Ultimately, you would only be hurting yourself.

I used to think I had some true friends in my life. Turns out in many cases I was wrong. When I answered these six points about some of my friends I was surprised that they were not as close as I had originally thought. The real deciding factor for me was "Am I that kind of friend for them?” When I was honest with myself and answered "No”, it was a very eye-opening experience. We must always remember what we expect from our friends and they have the right to expect from us in return.

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Help your Friend !!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” - Winston Churchill

If you know that your friend is in depression and it affects you due to any reason. The first and foremost important thing you can do to help your friend is to spend time with him as much as you can. Because leaving him alone may lead to unfavorable conditions. Although your friend will always say, “leave me alone”.

When a person goes in depression, he/she usually has feeling that nobody likes him/her or he/she doesn’t believe anyone. It creates an adverse situation. To find out the reason of depression becomes very difficult.

As I know that if a person is not revealing reason of being depressed than it also leads to adverse condition because if a person is able to disclose the reason of being depressed than half of the battle is won.

Some ways to help your friend:-

J Offer emotional support to your friend and develop understanding with him.

J Be patient because sometime you also get irritated. It is not a good sign so control your emotion while talking to him and encourage him.

J Engage your friend in conversation so he/she can’t think about a particular matter and listen to him carefully.

J Never disparage feelings of your friend, but point out realities and offer hope.

J Invite your friend out for walks, outings and other activities. Engage him in mild activity or exercise. Go to a movie or another event or activity that he/she has enjoyed. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don't push him or her to take on too much too soon.

J Last but not least never ignore comments about suicide, take them seriously and try that your friend will not talk so much about suicide.

At last I want to say that if a person is depressed, he/she may feel exhausted, helpless and hopeless. As he/she begins to recognize reason of being depressed and begins to find out solution, negative thinking will fade. Remember “positive thinking always replaces negative thoughts”. So be positive, be optimistic.

Love & Trust

There is an old saying, "without trust, there is no love." Is this true?

Well, one thing is for sure, love with trust lasts a lot longer than love without it.

Are you struggling to find trust in your relationship? Losing trust for a partner is not uncommon. Insults, put-downs, disrespect, affairs, mismanagement of business or money, and numerous other things will all contribute to losing trust.

I think before we define whether or not love can exist without trust, we have to fully understand what love is. Of course, I have to clarify that I'm talking about the love between two people in a relationship. There are many different types of love. Some like the love of chocolate or the love for a baby do not require trust.

Love is delicate. It doesn't revolve around lust, infatuation, obsession, or comfort. It is something that withstands all tests of time if it is true. This relation can be formed if both persons implicitly know every detail about the other. Therefore, if true love exists, it creates absolute trust. Love and trust are truly one and the same in this sense. The only way love can be destroyed is if one or both persons are revealed to be something different than they were perceived to be. So if the trust is broken, the mind and heart question the reality of the love, and therefore let it go.

Do we love first and trust later or trust first and love later?

Love without trust is nothing. Personally I don’t think that you can truly love a person if you can’t trust them. It can be an illusion or a crush but not true love. If you can trust a person then you can’t have a meaningful relationship with that person. It’s just that two people want to live will each other, nothing more. Love without trust is no love at all.

Love is based on trust. If one breaks that trust the bond can never be the same. Yes people try, but forgetting is near impossible, and your heart will always know.

Here I want to share one “Doha” by Rahim

“RAHIMAN DHAGA PREM KA MAT TODO CHITKAY

TUTE SE PHIR NA JUDE JO JUDE TO GATH PAD JAYE”

Without trust you begin to worry day and night somehow gaining insecurities within yourself that make you question the love. You start to feel unworthy, you have so much to say, will there ever be trust or just that constant pain, because of those feelings there's an emptiness in your heart.

So at last I want to say that you couldn’t truly love someone until you could completely trust them.